Deuces

Oh lord you should have seen me last night.

ahahah looking all types of foolish! The high school elyse would have smacked me silly! If you told me I could ever get like this, I would have never believed you! I begged and I pleaded for her not to leave me! talk about desperate! I totally humiliated myself. I cried for her like the way I've cried for my dad when I was a kid. It's soo funny I never thought I could reach point. I thought it was beneath me. But its scarier to even think that I could go further. Lord have mercy! I just can't. She doesn't want to work it out. she said it from the beginning. Well wipe the egg off my face, ha! where's my gay bestfriend who's supposed to call me "dumb bitch" and then snap me out of this lol. My sisters have been so damn supportive. Coaching me through. They're soo funny and so right. and more so, soo annoyed! They totally do not want me wasting my time. It's just easier said than done. And my mom was getting ready to bust somebody's ass! I shutter to think what would happen if I unleashed any of my family on her. But I'm happy to know that they would. Didn't really think they cared so much. That' so nice of them. I guess they aren't always the devil, and they aren't ALWAYS out to get me! I started making a blanket that I didn't finish. well I'll continue making it and make it for MY niece! I will be an aunt after all! :). 

      I just kept having these dreams that I worked myself into hysterics trying to get her to hear me. and she looked at me like "and?" and then I had that dream again! and at the end I finally just stopped I looked at her and ran as far as I could. They shouldn't call this shit a break up they need to call it "the severed ligament" hahahaha man. I'm soo choosing to laugh! anything to keep from crying! I started it this time I absolutely did. Maybe I should look at the facts in real time and matter of fact. and just be real and honest with myself. All the flailing and whaling couldn't bring her back. I wanted to push her and I did. I guess I'll be my own gay best friend and say to myself "you zdumb Biatch! you need to stop with all them dramatics! you silly hoe!" 

I've done more harm to her than good. she deserves to walk away from me. like dane cook "she did her best!"

songs:
Determinate- Lemonade Mouth
Breakthrough- Lemonade Mouth

eLLe*