And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;..." - Robert Frost
Well this is not the best place for me to be. It's not the worst but it truly isn't fun. I don't make decisions like this and I guess it's time to. I just don't know what God is trying to tell me. I just don't want to miss an opportunity because I always second guess myself. I've been talking about Boston for years. I always felt like I wouldn't mind living there. And more recently Boston has been around ever corner. But then again this could be God's way of saying: You see this opportunity is everywhere and I will keep it that way as long as you keep the faith in me.
We have two new employees at work that have moved here from far away, they decided that they are just gonna go for it. Chaos only applied for this one job and got it. And I don't know about saber tooth tiger but they decided to follow their dreams. I'm in NYC my dreams are here. I have a show in July and that's amazing. But nothing is ever final I should live a little. And Boston is only 4 hours away it's not that drastic. But not too long ago I'm over here talking about Barcelona. Oh believe me I'm going. But is this what God is trying to show me! That I'm all over the place? And I need to get my life? But isn't this what the 20's are all about? Being a drifter, confused and out there. Trying to find where I fit in. Trusting yourself and making mistakes? My mom told me something, it's something I've always known but it was said in a different light. And in a way I felt rather guilty. But in talking about this, she says " Elyse, you get eveything you want... You get EVERYTHING you want, but the second you get it, you don't want it anymore" I sat thinking yea I do get everything I want. :-/ I knew that! And when I get stuff I don't want it anymore. I knew that :-/. I'm thankful for eveything I get! Even this break up with bell, truthfully I had to go through it. To be where I am and I'm thankful for it. I'd rather not go through it and say I did but it's been quite the experience. I wanted to break up with her I wanted to be separated from her and I got it. I want to find myself and I'm doing that, rather gracefully. Because I never left! My point is its not a matter of not wanting things anymore it's knowing when I've overstayed my stay. I like to keep moving. I love my work family and that's the hardest thing about leaving. They've been such a support. A stregnth that I needed. Such characters I could never replace. I went home early today because Im sick. And while I felt like shit and could hardly stand I felt left out when I had to leave. I love them sooo much, soo much! I'm just trying to figure it all out. While I'm young. I have dreams and that's what carries me. I think if I can keep it healthy and take away from each experience that my need to always want to know what's out there is good! Some people find stuff they lock into it and that's okay for them. My mom being a smart woman gives me advice but I need to remember she was young once too, so even as she plays devils advocate I can't follow her either because shes doing just that playing devils advocate. She was young once too, and had no idea what she was doing with her life. So I will admit this when I say, I have no clue what I want. I just know that I want something new. I want better than I already am. I'm confused in a way that says that I'm not really, just more afraid of my own awesomeness, so I cripple myself and say I'll do it when I'm ready. In the words of miss Noxeema Jackson (To Wong Foo) "I will make Hollywood wherever I am at!" Can't wait to be ready that might take forever. Besides Madonna said it best "there's only so much you can learn in one place, the more that I wait, the more time that I waste"
No but really I have not seen this house nor have I seen the neighborhood! I've only seen pictures I haven't scoped the scene and I'll do that Saturday... I just need to Be silent, Be still. Leave it up to God
*Elyse
We have two new employees at work that have moved here from far away, they decided that they are just gonna go for it. Chaos only applied for this one job and got it. And I don't know about saber tooth tiger but they decided to follow their dreams. I'm in NYC my dreams are here. I have a show in July and that's amazing. But nothing is ever final I should live a little. And Boston is only 4 hours away it's not that drastic. But not too long ago I'm over here talking about Barcelona. Oh believe me I'm going. But is this what God is trying to show me! That I'm all over the place? And I need to get my life? But isn't this what the 20's are all about? Being a drifter, confused and out there. Trying to find where I fit in. Trusting yourself and making mistakes? My mom told me something, it's something I've always known but it was said in a different light. And in a way I felt rather guilty. But in talking about this, she says " Elyse, you get eveything you want... You get EVERYTHING you want, but the second you get it, you don't want it anymore" I sat thinking yea I do get everything I want. :-/ I knew that! And when I get stuff I don't want it anymore. I knew that :-/. I'm thankful for eveything I get! Even this break up with bell, truthfully I had to go through it. To be where I am and I'm thankful for it. I'd rather not go through it and say I did but it's been quite the experience. I wanted to break up with her I wanted to be separated from her and I got it. I want to find myself and I'm doing that, rather gracefully. Because I never left! My point is its not a matter of not wanting things anymore it's knowing when I've overstayed my stay. I like to keep moving. I love my work family and that's the hardest thing about leaving. They've been such a support. A stregnth that I needed. Such characters I could never replace. I went home early today because Im sick. And while I felt like shit and could hardly stand I felt left out when I had to leave. I love them sooo much, soo much! I'm just trying to figure it all out. While I'm young. I have dreams and that's what carries me. I think if I can keep it healthy and take away from each experience that my need to always want to know what's out there is good! Some people find stuff they lock into it and that's okay for them. My mom being a smart woman gives me advice but I need to remember she was young once too, so even as she plays devils advocate I can't follow her either because shes doing just that playing devils advocate. She was young once too, and had no idea what she was doing with her life. So I will admit this when I say, I have no clue what I want. I just know that I want something new. I want better than I already am. I'm confused in a way that says that I'm not really, just more afraid of my own awesomeness, so I cripple myself and say I'll do it when I'm ready. In the words of miss Noxeema Jackson (To Wong Foo) "I will make Hollywood wherever I am at!" Can't wait to be ready that might take forever. Besides Madonna said it best "there's only so much you can learn in one place, the more that I wait, the more time that I waste"
No but really I have not seen this house nor have I seen the neighborhood! I've only seen pictures I haven't scoped the scene and I'll do that Saturday... I just need to Be silent, Be still. Leave it up to God
*Elyse
Current Song(s):
Boston- Augustina
Jump- Madonna
Jump- Madonna
