So Yesterday I woke up saying PRAISE THE LORD!! I just was feeling all types of good. I think the only thing that had a great chance of ruining it were my unbearable cramp pains! " Said oh lord jesus itza fire!" But even still yesterday was a good day. Just living and loving. Even if its just being in love with the company I keep around me, truly feeling blessed honored and privileged to be me, I know some of the smartest and funniest people ever. There is never a dull moment. and In moments when you just want to break down and cry (which is like always) talking about the situation that brings you to that point isn't always the answer... Laughing about something else, completely irrelevant to that situation and just being goofy is the only cure!
There's a "coworker" that I see very seldom but I'm just obsessed with. He's truly amazing and it was sooo nice to hear all about view points on life, the gay society etc. It's so refreshing to know that there are people who don't fall trap to all the misagosh that has been strapped to this community. He's a powerful mind and I'm so glad to know him. (love fest much?) but we all sat backstage getting rowdy in discussion, which sounds like a typical lunch time at my job, and he's like I'm always on your page you have like the best pictures and post. I sat there floored because I always feel so damn invisible. I feel like I don't do enough, that I could be out there more, really making the most out of my time and capitalizing on the relationships out there. not to mention having moments where I don't feel complete because Im not with anyone. Man I tell you this society really chews women up. First we're not beautiful enough, we're not strong enough. We're not meant to be in the work force. And if we are clearly we're not fit for marriage. And the only reason we're so driven in that work force is because we're bitter, uptight women that can't get laid or find a man and have children as that is our only calling (barf). I am a disney channel fanatic but sometimes I find it hard to watch because they insist on painting girls this way. It's like you don't have to be painfully opposite just switch it up give diversity, its rather sad. I digress, i'll come back to that another time. I'm so self aware when it comes to the negative, I can quickly tell you all the things I do wrong, I almost hear it in slow motion as the words come out. or the situation will go in slow motion as its being done. But when someone says something nice about you, you're like wait what? you really think that?! Bless your heart!
I gotta tell you yesterday I was so ON! Charged and ready to WERQ! and as I sit on the train, sun shining amping up for the day... Janet Jackson "discipline" comes on... ... ... ... For real though? Now I haven't listened to that song in a hot minute. A HOT MINUTE! Mainly because I know she listens to that song as she fucks her. nice. But this time I thought of that and smiled. and a devilish smile to, because I introduced her to that song, With the ONLY RED LIGHT SPECIAL. Listen when I turn it on it comes ON iWERQ hunty. and she knows it. She can have the memories. Those don't fade. But I really haven't Turned that light on since her. and there have been some SONGS. WOOO CHILD. I NEED TO CREATE A NEW LIST. I'll keep it in my arsenal for that deserving person, they will feel like its there birthday... and guess what I don't even have hair and I'm confident (oh snap, shit just got real) I was ready to take on the day after that song. Janet really is like the only person that could have an orgasm in a song and you're like "I'll have what she's having!" I'm usually NOT a fan. But the first time I heard that song, I found myself slave to the rhythm, dancing without myself even being aware. like a ribbon I laced myself through that melody. by the time she started orgasming I couldn't even be mad at her, I was like play on playa. But that song is all types of dangerous. " said oh o lord jesus itza fire!" ( I got lost in the moment)
And to top it off I heard from "Ly". I was so content on not speaking to her until I ran into her at PTown... and she texted me and of course my face just lit up. I've been thinking about her a lot. I wonder if her ears were ringing. I'm glad she reached out. It just really topped off my beautiful sunday. I don't know if I needed that but I sure did want it.
So today I wake up ready to start my day. My second rehearsal. and lunch with my Booski! Which I'm nervous for because we're going to place that this girl works at and in my head I feel like I'm painfully obvious and now I'm like gosh Elyse, you shouldn't have. You have absolutely no chance with her and now she's creeped out. I'm not all too sure I want a chance with her but I hate when it's decided for me hahah spoken like a true diva. you win some you lose some... but there is soo much in store for me that really. iWIN
*Elyse
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