Half Past Dead

been a while.
i can't help but to be feeling like the rebound right now. all the signs are there. and all the actions repeat. I really really thought I meant more to her. but if you could pick up so easily and start dating again like shits all good then i guess it was nothing. I mean lets be real you did the same thing to me. With such powerful convincing words you had me on a silver platter. and when I first told you that you had my heart beating in your hand, you have total power, you lied. and you threw me under. when i asked you not too. i guess karma is a bitch. trying to look at it like something i deserved so endure it. I'm exposed in all aspects.... and I'm confused. forced to deal with skeletons in my closet and the demons i lay down with. and all you do is get distracted. is she worth all of this. I can't help but feel like she is. Passed tears but the pressure builds on me like some type of,.. fuck idk but its building. I have been waking up feeling drunk for the last week. zoned out I'm a drone. I'm on autopilot. and all that rings in my head is i was a fucking rebound. and so is this chick and so will be the next. I've been told not to give you all this energy but if i don't now i shutter to think that I'll be in the next relationship wondering what if.  Confused and dazed like shit. great moments followed by bullshit. and you'll turn to substance. I have to leave it all to god and try to wash my hands of this matter. but i just can't... I'm already half past dead.

song: Sky scrapper- Demi lovato
Marvin's room - Jojo
Snuff- Slipknot
It was all a lie- Evanescence

*eLLe