Could I be crazy enough to actually go through with this? As pondered over good food and hard cider. I think I just might. If I give myself til June. Truthfully I don't want to wait that long. I don't like to wait. I made a commitment like just made a commitment so I need to honor it. But seriously what does commitment weigh these days anyway. I have my rational mind then I have my Disney mind. Which is a head full of dreams and a heart as big as the moon. But I've been turning dreams into reality lately. Do I wait to see the dreams I've conjured up manifest or do I abandon them to makes new ones. A shark dies if he doesn't keep swimming. And I. Feel like a statue... My rational mind is saying. Don't get carried away. Finish one thing before you pick up another. Ppl are counting on you. But I'm young.
There's a fire and I'm drawn to it. It will burn but at least I'll have a story to tell. I'm always cautious Cathy but I'm feeling a way. I wanna stick my middle finger in the air and say fcuk you. I wanna dance in the rain naked. I wanna be free and not feel bounded by anything or anyone.
The other night I had a dream that floated around in a yard naked in fact I purposely took my clothes off to prance around in public naked! And I did so with my head high. And whenever I felt the need to cover myself. I did so the way I wanted to and when I wanted to. It felt amazing. Growing up my naked dreams were filled with angst and panic. Over the years they began to shift.
Am I crazy enough to do this? Well define crazy. If by crazy you mean fearless and goes after what she wants. Then yes I'm defying gravity. I'm fucking crazy! Shit it's not like anybody really understands half the shit I do anyway. I don't make sense to you shit don't make sense to myself. This is one "impulse" I want to act on, I will do this! I'll blueprint for a year but keep my eyes open and my nose sharp for now. I'm way too excited!! (Devilish laugh)
*Elysium
Current song(s):
Defying gravity-wicked
Jump- Madonna
Strut- cheetah girls
Alive- krewella
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