I worked a double today. Fcking ugh. This bitch is so damn sick it's not even funny. On my break today I sat with bohemian rhapsody and completely curled up under him. I had to apologize for it. I'm not usually so needy but I couldn't and didn't want to pull away. It got me to thinking, it's not the medication that always does the trick, it's the love and affection that you get from the one who's taking care of you. And sometimes you just want a person there to give you some type of affection. Maybe that's the medication you need. Cuddling does prove to be good for you. And hugs have been everything for me at the moment. I've been told that I give great hugs, it's almost become my mission, to spread love with one of my hugs lol. Like I've mentioned before I like people to feel safe and free and relaxed in my arms. I don't hug everyone only those deserving. Anyway. All that to say I'm very nurturing and maternal and now that I'm sick I'd really love that back. Like when you're a kid. It was your mothers love and touch that bought you back to good health. Well now as I get older I don't want my mothers touch I want that persons touch. I want them to care for me like a mother would but the touch should be from that person, you know. THAT person. But I could never say it. I want someone to stroke my face or yell at me when I'm being stubborn. I can be pretty difficult so you have to be strong and understand the balance I need. Man I tell you I require a lot. It's because I'm the baby isn't it. Lol oy!
I spoke to Ly today and she's like am I gonna have to come take care of you and I just started thinking man I'd love that. In fact I'd even go to prov cuz I have some days off. But again I could and would not ever tell her I need her or ask her how she would feel if I came to prov. I'll just heal on my own. I work tomorrow but I have the next two days off. I'll have to get better on my own.! I'm so clingy right now. Ugh I hate being sick. Whatever
*elyse
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