You know it's serious when you call your sister to give you advice. Especially given the fact that ya'll never really got along. But I knew if anybody was gonna get through to me it would be her. And honestly, yet again she's just right... I've been plagued with "what ifs". Like what if its true? What if its not true? What if she meant it? She if she doesn't mean it? And the biggest one... What if she comes back?! She's not tho. But what if she does?! No but she's not tho. Never will and the major thing I've been doing is saying I just don't want her to come back when I'm with someone. Last night I had dream after dream after dream. At one point I woke up in a panic and checked my IG because I thought something was on it, that would kill me. There was nothing. I closed my eyes and I saw picture after picture of them in bliss and the whole time I'm thinking that's gonna be her girlfriend. This is the girl who's gonna replace me. Needless to say I did not sleep well if fact everytime I went back to sleep. I told myself you have to push through this. You've got be strong. It was such a hard night for me. I saw future pictures of them or made up pictures but I do believe that they will be an item. And yet again I'm the one that looks stupid. I almost sent another saying I love you and I never stopped. But I definitely need to. She has officially moved on. There's no need or want for me anymore. Really do get it. There's no way to get through to her. Because she doesn't want me to get through. As for casie's party yyeaup I doubt I'm going. I wanted to go to talk to her but no it's just not. No.
*Elyse
Current song(s):
I Gave you all- Mumford and Sons
Details in the Fabric- Jason Mraz
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