I really wanted to cry but the thing is, I had no tears to give. Also you know that moment, when you find yourself talking about something that you've been talking about for the longest time, and as you talk about it you're like... Ugh bitch it's over and done with. Well. My come to Jesus moment; my family is my family, I'd rather be super close with my mom because she's an amazing one, my sisters are stupid bitches but when I needed them they were there for me, my dad's tom foolery adds for comic relief (if I can allow myself to laugh at the fact that he's just a lost cause and stop being so sensitive) and I'm just a queen, a head strong, passionate queen that flips out whenever given the opportunity. I don't need to like them all the time. And to be quite honest it might benefit me to make that vocal more often. Anyway to keep painting this picture of this terrible family that I have I quite childish. Because they are in no way terrible. They're human they suck. I can choose to fcuk with them when I want to or back the fcuk off. It took me years to learn that. It also took me to last month and really last night to realize. I'm not uncle Rico. The past happened. Most of it happened exactly the way you saw it happening. And whilst I will always reflect on the past, I'm just not there anymore. I don't want to be, dude it's lame. And as much as I didn't want to get my hopes up, I did. I think that possibly, It's time to stop denying what I want, I guess I've just been sorting it all out and trying to figure out just what exactly is that?
I'll continue onward. Set backs aren't the end. They are annoying but I don't know whatever.
*Elysium
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