What else

I'm tired of crashing like this... If I really wanted this I would be on drugs. Idk what else to give her. I gave her everything I was capable of giving her. It wasn't pretty but it was me. Now it just feels like she kicks me while i'm down. You win. I'm not fighting, I don't want to fight with you. You put me through such disrespect. I'm drained you win. But you need to release me! if you tell me we're never gonna be together anymore. why did you send me my package labeled "pooh" why did you text my mother again. why did you change your profile to one of my pictures of you. Was it to show that you took all the pictures down. sure you're looking at this like um really whats the big deal. I'm really not gonna explain there are things I know and i'm killing myself trying to make it make sense yet again. I'm scared to go to sleep and I hate being awake. I hate being alone with my own thoughts and I hate that this means nothing to her. I had to delete her on facebook. she moved on! she told me that! so why are you retaliating... I can't do this anymore... Yet another night of crying myself to sleep... I can't do this I can't do this ... , please :'''(

No ordinary love- Sade
Every word you said- Sade

eLLe*

Half Past Dead

been a while.
i can't help but to be feeling like the rebound right now. all the signs are there. and all the actions repeat. I really really thought I meant more to her. but if you could pick up so easily and start dating again like shits all good then i guess it was nothing. I mean lets be real you did the same thing to me. With such powerful convincing words you had me on a silver platter. and when I first told you that you had my heart beating in your hand, you have total power, you lied. and you threw me under. when i asked you not too. i guess karma is a bitch. trying to look at it like something i deserved so endure it. I'm exposed in all aspects.... and I'm confused. forced to deal with skeletons in my closet and the demons i lay down with. and all you do is get distracted. is she worth all of this. I can't help but feel like she is. Passed tears but the pressure builds on me like some type of,.. fuck idk but its building. I have been waking up feeling drunk for the last week. zoned out I'm a drone. I'm on autopilot. and all that rings in my head is i was a fucking rebound. and so is this chick and so will be the next. I've been told not to give you all this energy but if i don't now i shutter to think that I'll be in the next relationship wondering what if.  Confused and dazed like shit. great moments followed by bullshit. and you'll turn to substance. I have to leave it all to god and try to wash my hands of this matter. but i just can't... I'm already half past dead.

song: Sky scrapper- Demi lovato
Marvin's room - Jojo
Snuff- Slipknot
It was all a lie- Evanescence

*eLLe